Yes, well...
another weekend passed, and now we're in a week again.
This morning as I was heading up to the train station I reminded myself how much I got written on the train commute back in 2000: most of Black Juice, reviewed afresh but vair-vair lukewarmly over here.
Anyway, I thought acidly to myself, 'There's no time to even write a haiku between here and Strathfield!' Which led to an outburst of not one but 5 haiku, plus one grabbed on the walk from Strathfield to work. Here is the best of them:
This morning as I was heading up to the train station I reminded myself how much I got written on the train commute back in 2000: most of Black Juice, reviewed afresh but vair-vair lukewarmly over here.
Anyway, I thought acidly to myself, 'There's no time to even write a haiku between here and Strathfield!' Which led to an outburst of not one but 5 haiku, plus one grabbed on the walk from Strathfield to work. Here is the best of them:
A train passed a train.although the apostrophe in this one's hard not to like:
Between two full carriages
Glances crossed and slid.
Blue delphiniums.Does anyone know, is it okay to make stuff up in a haiku? If I'm not entirely sure they were delphiniums, am I allowed to put them in?
Against an orange house wall
They practic'lly hum.
posted by Among Amid While at 7:56 pm
5 Comments:
Hey Zorro!
Yes, you can make up the delphiniums, but you're getting a yellow card for that apostrophe.
Cross-eyed I staggered
over train tracks to pick up
the apostrophe.
I think you're allowed
to write haikus whichever
way that rocks your world.
Cheers :)
Margo,
At risk of getting all technical on your ass, there is no actual requirement for haiku to have a 5-7-5 structure. Beverly George, famed haikuist, tells me that you can have 3-4-5 or 5-8-3 or whatever you like, so long as it works. The main rule with haiku is that you either have a setup/title line, followed by two lines examining that line, thus:
families heading home
arms full of of showbags and toys
toddlers sleep in prams
or two lines setting up, followed by a "punchline", thus:
in the produce hall
pumpkins huge as kettle drums
that’s a lot of soup
The other thing that haiku are traditionally supposed to be about is nature, although that's no longer necessarily the case.
God, I feel like such a smartarse now. But my point is, you don't need to use that apostrophe anyway.
But I really like your train haiku.
:?
I dunno, Jim. I think it's easier just to go with the 5-7-5 rule than all those other ones. Though I do like your examples.
Face it, I'm just a lazy, frivolous person - I'm going with susan's rules, not the proper ones. :)
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